ramblingsbyamy

I am a power writer fueled by caffeine, nicotine, and driven by the inspiration of my Accentuate Services friends.  These are friends, whom I may never see, but they keep me motivated and on track with the articles, short stories and even the novel that I am attempting to write. We keep encouraging each other, and can relate to daily struggles because all of us are in the same boat.

I recently wrote two entries in the short story contest, which is held on the forum, I am excited and nervous as this time I think I have a shot at least an honorable mention but I’d love to walk away with that first place of $300.

In April of 1986, I got married at nineteen, in
Texas and pregnant. My parents were in PA, so they did not attend my wedding or meet my husband until 6 months later, or my dad would have told me not to do it. I know my dad that well, but i was a young scared adult who did not know better.

I met my husband around mid February at a party and on that first night, he said he was going to take me way from my boyfriend and make me his wife before the month was over. I thought that was romantic for many years, now I know better.

I moved out of my sister’s trailer to another town closer to post. So now I was in the city, in an apartment complex where I knew no one, and so ill. That pregnancy was rough I passed out in front of a convenience store and put on bed rest at 5 months. He still drank like a fish, went to parties on Friday night, and returned home on Saturday. When I almost lost the baby, and my landlord took me to where he was that lady rushed me to the hospital. After that, I went with him to the parties, but never drank. It was so nice being around people once more on the weekends.

Now 22 years later, this was a marriage of control and it began the night I met him. He did ’steal me away’ from my long-term boyfriend. It was nice at first I thought, so romantic I loved the little presents. Isolation is a huge part of control, and I sure got a huge dose of it. That baby a daughter I named Amber was born the week before Christmas after a difficult labor that resulted in a c-section. Luckily, I was back in PA with my parents, but my husband was in on duty with the army in
South Korea and had been since November.  

Stayed tuned for year two,

Life is what you make of it, we all know that and as a survivor of domestic abuse I implore everyone in that situation to think hard about getting out of it. Truthfully, if I can get out and survive anyone can. This blog is taking a new turn so you can see exactly how a loving relationship can turn dangerous.  

Had I know what he was like I would have never entered into that marriage but the past is the past and I cannot change it. All I can do is to show others how easy it is to be caught up in trying to save someone that you loose your self.

Today was one of those beautiful fall days where the sun shone down for hours, warming everything with its glow. In the shade, of course, it was a bit cooler. All over town, people were outside enjoying this day walking, or taking care of yard work before the snow comes. I seen one couple working on their Christmas lights, these warm fall days are perfect for hanging those Christmas lights.

Thank goodness, we could come inside for the night because when the sun went down it became cold. Inside it was warm and we enjoyed a crock-pot full of chili. As we close the doors on the world around us, we are thankful for a warm safe house.

I am attending a writer’s conference this week and the things I am learning are blowing my mind. I am realizing just how much I have kind of come into this freelance writing thing on a wing and a prayer. I like so many other people was looking for quick, easy money working from home, so that I could have more time with my children. As a single parent, I feel my intentions were good, but they were also delusions of grandeur.

I had no savings to fall back on. That is because when I quit my full time job back in August 2008, I had done my applications all over closer to home. When those all fell thru I just tossed everything I had into this freelance writing stuff because at least it was money coming in. Well the more I tried to move along and get ahead but writing more I began to struggle in the worst ways.

I am recovering with the writing, as I am learning much. I belong to the writers group over at accentuate services, which has helped big time. This writer’s conference is helping in the other ways, but it is time consuming. I am sure it is well worth every minute I spend in there. I do not regret the choice to attend that conference I only wish it would last more then a week.

Words of encouragement when we need them the most are often not there, that is a simple fact. Look around you, there is some one who is supporting you and giving the encouragement that you need.  I find that encouragement in a writing group I belong too. At times, the encouragement is not specifically directed at me, but others in the group and I realize that those words of encouragement we all type are meant for all.

Just knowing these great folks are there helping each other by giving support and encouragement as needed is a blessing. It is not only the group that I get my support I also get that from those people I see and talk to everyday. My boyfriend, my children, and extended family all do their share of encouragement through words as well as help as needed.  What were the last encouraging words you heard? Perhaps those words can encourage you more than one time.

Miracles are all around us, in the things we see with our eyes, touch with our hands, and even the people we talk to on any given day. Did you ever read the poem Miracles by Walt Whitman? I analyzed this for a college English paper. It was my first time reading it, and it remains one of my favorite poems today almost five years later.

In this poem Whitman, shows us how everything around us is a miracle, from the blades of grass to the drops of water, which feed them, to the rabbits that eat from them or the humans who trample them down.  Think about it, and you will see that each of us is as much as a miracle as that blade of grass. We all begin as a single atom or molecule and stuff are added to make us become what we will be. 

Sometimes we must look around our selves to see the miracles around us and they should inspire us.  When you realize the small and big miracles around us, you will know the value of such things.

Who inspired you to write if you are a writer? Looking back you will no doubt see a path of people who inspired you, each taking you further into your dream. It is like that in every job, and every aspect of our lives.

For me, it was Miss Thomas back in the grade eight who got me going and later Mrs., Ronsvalle encouraged me further.  Friends who always seen me writing in those early notebooks, encouraged me, then I got away from the writing as my children were born.  I missed writing and I am glad I chose to come back. As more people locally read my stuff I am further encouraged to write more, and yes I thank them for the motivation.

Miss Thomas told me to write from the heart back then, and I wish I could remember her married name so that I could say hey look at me now. I could tell her that there are almost 2,000 articles out here on the Internet with my name on them. I could tell her that that book dream I had long ago is coming together so many years ago.

While I may not be making the big bucks yet, perhaps some day I will be. I finally am living a dream where I can work at home, be paid for it and truthfully I love my job. In addition, writing is not a job it is an adventure.

Do you ever stop to think of the lives that you touch? Too many times, we are caught up in the daily grind of our lives and are miserable. One of the surest ways to be cheered up  is to have someone whose life you have touched in a positive way tell you how much your influence and actions have inspired them, encouraged them or otherwise made them feel good about themselves.

We all have that certain person within our lives that have touched us, and helped shape us into whoever we are at this very minute. Perhaps multiple people have touched you in small ways that have helped shape you into the person you are now.

Different people will cross into our paths and make us realize that we can change our lives into something that suited us better. One person can inspire us to make a change, and we meet others along that path that will propel us even further into becoming happier within our life.  

Stop and think about this for a minute, which person inspired you in your career choice? Did you ever thank that person?  If you were happy in your choice, you would have thanked them.  It is never a good idea to thank someone for getting you into a job you necessarily do not like. Instead, look for the new person to inspire you to change that job into something you do enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a meek little woman who did as her husband told her. She was quite passive, and did everything without voicing her opinion on anything. She was a friendly person and would give the shirt off her back, as she was raised to do by her parents. She took care of her children, which she had in quick succession.  She spent all day taking care of three little children a newborn, a toddler and a preschooler while her husband worked from sun up until it set. All three children would be sleeping when their daddy went to work and again when he came home. So was the pattern six days a week.

Flash forward ten years and that baby is in fifth grade, the toddler is now in seventh grade and the preschooler is now in 9th grade. The wife finally grew some balls and is in college was getting the education she deserves. The dad/husband has had several jobs, and is drinking alcohol quite often.  

Guess what the wife is not passive any longer. She is realizing there is much more to life out there then she could have imagined. Husband does not like wife getting smart and changing as much as the wife hates him drinking all the time.  Husband and wife begin fighting, kids hear this quite often. Mom graduated from college and husband moves on to playing the field. Mom tells husband to take a flying leap when she finds out about his playing the field, and mom begins a solo life of child rearing. Is she really beginning or has she done this all the time?

Do not judge the wife, for as she was taking care of her children and going to school, she grew a backbone. This just goes to show you that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. If life is not going the way you want it too, change it. It truly is simple as that, and this is my story.