ramblingsbyamy

In year, two not much happened because he was in
South Korea for the most part by himself except when he came home on leave in early December. I had spent the year raising our daughter with the help of our parents as the bank transfers were not set up yet. It seemed as if there was always a problem. I could have found a job to help with my expenses and I did when I moved from my parents to his out in CA. Locally I had gone on assistance so I could afford my own apartment when our daughter was an infant, as I could not work. I had mentioned it was a difficult labor yesterday briefly and that is part of the reason I could not work. Between healing from the c-section, and taking care of her extended medicinal needs there was not enough time to work. Truthfully, I should not have had to work since my husband was making good money in the army, but he was using it for other purposes.

When I traveled to CA to meet his parents, I fell in love with
Duarte where they lived. Therefore, our brief 2-week vacation turned into almost a yearlong stay. I worked for a temp agency, but my father in law would not allow me to help with bills, he said that was my husband’s place. My pay went for dinners out and toys for my daughter. My in-laws bought the formula, which my daughter was on until she was almost 2 years old.

 I over heard my mother in law ask my father in law that first day we met them if he had picked up the right girl at the airport. At first, I was insulted, but my mother in law sat me down and explained her statement and I was shocked. My husband was one of those who was forced to make a choice, service or jail because of drugs! I had never done drugs or been around anyone who had done them so that was a shock to me.  

When my husband came home on leave, we had a nice first birthday party for our daughter. We also met some of his old friends, and when I did not fit in with those drinking friends, I was not invited to go. I sat home with my in-laws. I went to one party with them, they all did LSD, when I realized what we happening I went outside, later that night my husband told me I would not be going to anymore parties.

I loved my in-laws, I think in many ways I was closer to them then my husband ever was which is sad. I met them in1987 and separated from their son in 2005 and they made me power of attorney for both of them in 2008.  They were one of the biggest reasons I stayed in that marriage long after I should have left.

Do you see the abuse in this one? Remember abuse is far more then the physical beatings. The money issues were the main problem this year, as he did not share the money he got. In the service, you get money for a family. It was a family allowance. He also got over seas hardship pay, which was supposed to help the family left behind.  What was he doing with the money? Stay tuned for year 3 when Amber and I move to
South Korea with him.

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